Something New
by NovaDova
Summary: Plagued with nightmares of a not so imprisoned Aizen, Ichigo feels like he's slowly losing his grasp on reality and what only exists in his mind. With no one to turn to, he retreats inside himself where he meets someone he thought to be long gone.


**Summary- Plagued with nightmares of a not so imprisoned Aizen, Ichigo feels like he's slowly losing his grasp on reality and what only exists in his mind. With no one to turn to, he retreats inside himself where he meets someone he thought to be long gone. **

**Warning- Yaoi(Boy/Boy)**

**Disclaimer-I don't own bleach. **

**Something New **

_Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken._

I don't know when it started; maybe the first symptoms were ignored and forgotten. All that I do know is insanity.

My dreams never did make any sense, but something changed after the Winter War, they got colder, darker, and lonelier. Maybe it had something to do with the fact I no longer had two separate personality's living inside my head. Maybe it was losing my powers and the ability to see anything that fell under the category of death. I could chalk these feeling's up to anything really, but I would simply be shifting the blame from one idea to the next.

All I know is worthless.

The dreams or nightmares I now have feature only one being. I won't call him human, because even if he once was, that part of him is dead. I won't call him a hollow, because he is much more than that. I shall call him my personal hell; the reason behind everything that has come to be in my world.

He, in all his glory, is death, Sosuke Aizen.

I defeated him in the winter war. I know this. I also know he was locked in the deepest pit in Soul Society with the key long thrown away, but that doesn't stop the nightmares.

In the nightmares he talks to me. I was his, fully his, my body, my mind, my soul, my sanity. All his to control.

I was his.

I acted like nothing was wrong. Still going to school even though I no longer even tried to act interested in the material, I still ate lunch on the roof, though more times than not my lunch went untouched. Even though my friends did comment on it, I never gave them a clear answer. I still received kicks to general areas of the body every time my dad was feeling up to it, but recently, after my non attempts to block the blows were noticed, he stopped. Yuzu and Karin were concerned, each showing it in their own way.

I would sometimes catch Yuzu staring at me with emotions brimming over in her eyes, but when I would turn to face her fully she'd simply slap on a smile and ask what I wanted for dinner. Karin was different, she didn't out right show she was concerned, but I was her big brother and I had lived with her long enough to know she was concerned.

So for the sake of the people around me I acted almost like my old self, almost being the key word here. My scowls were never quite as menacing as they used to be and my almost nonexistent attitude towards school became full blown ignorance.

I was different, and not in a good way.

Most morning's I spent in bed instead of braving whatever lay outside my room. I found no point in caring about other people's problems. I had spent the majority of my high school career chasing after what other people would consider myths, but what were to me, very real. I bet if people actually could see hollows and other things of that nature I'd be given some credit. Back then, I was naïve and desperate to save the town in which I grew up in, from any unnecessary harm.

Look where that unwavering dedication got me now. I guess it's true what they say, you can only trust yourself and yourself alone.

Yet I survive in a world that I cannot trust.

My own body has begun to show the signs of weeks without food, making it even more difficult for me to hide my disposition from others. I didn't need people thinking anything was wrong with me, even though they already did to some extent. If they were to find out the full truth of my current state of body and mind I'd be locked up in the closet psyche ward.

I'm not crazy. There's nothing wrong with me.

I can lie to myself. Telling myself every thing's ok, or will be. But there is a part of me that knows I'm not ok, and that nothing will ever be the same. This voice kind of reminds me of the things my hollow would usually say.

I will be the first to admit that I do in fact miss my duplicate, heck I even missed Zangetsu. But they're gone and as far as I can tell they're gone for good.

This line of thought brings me to the now. I'm on my bed, in the fetal position, wrapped tightly in a blanket muttering to myself about the weather and other random things. The only reason I do this is to keep myself from falling asleep. But it didn't seem to be helping. The telltale signs of sleep were rearing their ugly head in the form of hazy thoughts and eye lids that could no longer ignore gravity.

My dreams were never consistent, sometimes they were pictures of people and places I had been or seen. Other times my dreams took a darker atmosphere and only featured one person and one room, a white room stripped of any color and furnished with only a king sized bed and a wall to wall mirror.

Sometimes he would appear in the mirror and stay there for the majority of the dream. In these types of dreams I can never remember him moving. He always wore a smirk; as if he knew something I didn't and wanted to gloat about it. In other dreams he was not limited to the mirror. He came at me all the while talking of how I and the rest of Soul Society were idiots if they thought he had not prepared for this to happen. He talked of concepts that I thought he spoke in a foreign tongue and never stopped to talk in depth of the things he knew I didn't fully understand.

I think if I were to tell anyone, they would laugh. It's a dream, couldn't be real, post-traumatic stress maybe? I think I could believe them only if it weren't for the voice that followed me out into the real world after my dreams ended.

It happened almost immediately after the dreams began. I was used to having a voice in my head, three years with my hollow and I had pretty much perfected ignoring anything I found even slightly irritating. But my defenses against said voices had diminished some since he no longer resided in my head.

It started at what I can only explain as a whisper, but soon enough it sounded as if he were speaking directly into my ear from behind me. It got to the point where I heard nothing else but his voice and it scared me.

Me, I'm scared. How about you?

So I'm starting to think I'm crazy.

Right as I stop reminiscing, Aizen makes himself known with a small chuckle. "You poor thing, look how skinny you've gotten. What's wrong, my visits affecting you that much?" I hate to say it, but yes. As if I'd tell him though.

"You're not real, so I have nothing to fear. Fear, what is it? I can't know fear. I'm me. It's impossible. Right? Tell me I'm right, fear Ha…..ha….." I was rambling, but it wasn't random, I just didn't have enough will power to actually sort through my thoughts to make sure they made sense.

"Don't worry my dear berry; soon you'll know the full extent of fear." He's still smirking, even after instilling even more fear into me, if that was.

"Hahahahaha Aizen, not fear." I could feel my grip on the whole situation loosening and the edges of my vision darkening. Was it possible to fall unconscious during a dream? I didn't know the answer but I guess I would soon find out.

'Sleep Ichigo, tomorrow's a new day, with new possibilities, filled with many new victims." And I fell. Into what I'm not sure, I do know I didn't fight it.

**This will be more than a one-shot.**

**Ok, I lied. I updated this because I finished it first. Sorry for those who wanted My Master, My Savior, it will be the next to be updated though. Also I won't be updating in the coming week because I'm going on vacation with a friend of mine. But I will once I get back~**

**Reviews are much appreciated~!**

_**NovaDova**_


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